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FOMO
I remember when I was growing up there was all these “new and improved” commercials. Toothpaste, soda, cereal, toilet paper. You name it and there was a better one coming out. Always a “new and improved” version. We always want to upgrade, always want the newest model. Doesn’t matter if the old model works just fine, if there is one better or newer we want it. We want to be the envy of our friends. Or we are just bored of the same thing and want something or someone new to play with. What we have is never enough. We want better jobs, younger wives, better husbands, brand name clothes,…
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Too Easy
I hear alot ” If its too hard, that’s a good sign that you shouldn’t be doing it” or “if it’s too hard then it’s probably not God’s will”. This makes sense for the most part and I have actually avoided some situations following this advice. But I was never really prepared for when it’s easy. Easy is weird, even uncomfortable at first. When things are too easy for too long I start to feel antsy. It’s almost not “normal”. I used to thrive in chaos. How will I thrive if all is peaceful? How can I show everyone how I can overcome and persevere if I am practicing acceptance…
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Connection is vital
Before I came into the rooms of AA, I didn’t like people too much. I think I really thought people were kind of useless unless they had something to offer me that I wanted. I never really listened. You could have a whole conversation with me and 15 min later, I wouldn’t remember half of what you said. I would remember just enough for you to think that I was listening. I never shared anything about myself that mattered. I was never honest with anyone about me. I wasn’t even honest with me about me . It was all too ugly. I showed you what I wanted you to see.…
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Do your best today
Some days I am so overwhelmed by the greed, hatred and just plain unkindness of the world. The focus most people have on things, on stuff. How much they have, how much more they can get. How they look, how to avoid getting older. The obvious exploitation of companies, using all these fears to sell, sell, sell! The way our younger generation can’t interact with real people. They think this real world is too noisy. They fear having face to face conversations with people. They feel safe in the anonymity of the internet. They feel safe in being faceless. They can’t truly be seen so it’s never really real ,…
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Unforgivable
When I came into the rooms of AA a little over 3 years ago , I was an unforgivable and unlovable creature. I really didn’t believe that I should be forgiven or loved for the awful things I had done.I had been pushing people away and creating situations so that I hoped would make it impossible for anyone to even try. I didn’t want your forgiveness for my drunk driving , my lack of compassion, my bitchy attitude, my selfishness. Even if you could forgive me, I was never going to be able to forgive myself. I used people for my own pleasure and purpose. If I didn’t need anything…
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Acceptance
Why is it so hard to do? Why do we love dwelling in the past and worrying about tomorrow. Why is right now almost never good enough? We love to complain. Things are never perfect (which me the way I expect them to be). It’s too cold, it’s too hot, I’m lonely, people won’t leave me alone, there is too much traffic, the beach is too sandy, the pool is to chlorinated, my flight is delayed, the train is too slow, the kids wont shut up, the car won’t start, the boots I want are not on sale, the sun is too bright, it’s raining, it’s too windy. That waitress…
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The Birth of Betty
People change their names or use different names for a variety of reasons. Two of my best friends go by their middle names, so does my boyfriend. My daughter goes by Bree (short for Breeana). My mom was Vicky for most of her life and hated that nickname so when she moved to NC she started over by introducing herself as Victoria, now nobody calls her Vicky. Actors change their names for the stage and people on a new spiritual path change their names to signify a rebirth. I sort of remember having to pick a name for when I made confirmation as a catholic. I don’t even remember that…
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Courage to change the things I can
From my very first meeting I have been saying the Serenity prayer for many different reasons. In the beginning it was my mantra whenever I was feeling angry, sad, lonely, crazy, thirsty, or just plain out of my mind. I said it alot! I think I said it about 100 times a day. It always made me feel better. At first the words were inconsequential. I said it, and I was instantly transported into the rooms of AA. I was safe. I became calm. It was just what I needed to get out of my head long enough to call someone or get to an actual meeting. As time when…
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Is there a Sufficient Substitute?
The last 2 lines in the first full paragraph on page 152 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous read as follows…I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute? We read this tonight in a meeting and I have read it at least 100 times before but it was like I heard it for the first time. I know, of course, in my sassbriety today that there is an amazing substitute for alcohol and I shared as much. Upon reflection it dawned on me that the alcohol was the poor substitute for what I have today. I was drinking to NOT…
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A 12 Step Love Revolution
There is a revolution happening. A love revolution A shift where the hippies, the tree huggers, the spiritual seekers, the yoga doing, tea drinking, sage burning, chakra finding humans of the world have gone from being the kooks to becoming the norm. Love teachings are making a comeback. Kindness is becoming fashionable, tiny houses are replacing mansions. The new buzz words are mindfulness, consciousness, meditation, and presence. There are workshops popping up everywhere on how to be a better human being. We must learn (relearn) how to be compassionate, kind, and to love one another. A lot of us are realizing (awakening) to the fact that something feels like it’s…