When I came into the rooms of AA a little over 3 years ago , I was an unforgivable and unlovable creature. I really didn’t believe that I should be forgiven or loved for the awful things I had done.I had been pushing people away and creating situations so that I hoped would make it impossible for anyone to even try. I didn’t want your forgiveness for my drunk driving , my lack of compassion, my bitchy attitude, my selfishness. Even if you could forgive me, I was never going to be able to forgive myself. I used people for my own pleasure and purpose. If I didn’t need anything…

Why is it so hard to do? Why do we love dwelling in the past and worrying about tomorrow. Why is right now almost never good enough? We love to complain. Things are never perfect (which me the way I expect them to be). It’s too cold, it’s too hot, I’m lonely, people won’t leave me alone, there is too much traffic, the beach is too sandy, the pool is to chlorinated, my flight is delayed, the train is too slow, the kids wont shut up, the car won’t start, the boots I want are not on sale, the sun is too bright, it’s raining, it’s too windy. That waitress…