The Birth of Betty

People change their names or use different names for a variety of reasons. Two of my best friends go by their middle names, so does my boyfriend. My daughter goes by Bree (short for Breeana). My mom was Vicky for most of her life and hated that nickname so when she moved to NC she started over by introducing herself as Victoria, now nobody calls her Vicky. Actors change their names for the stage and people on a new spiritual path change their names to signify a rebirth. I sort of remember having to pick a name for when I made confirmation as a catholic. I don’t even remember that name. But I can tell you the story why and when the Birth of Betty came to be.

When I was born my mom really had no interest in having another child but here I was. She didnt have a name for me so when I left the hospital, on my birth certificate my name was Female. Seems that my dad went to the movies around the time I was born and the main character was a woman named Eliza. It was a Spanish film. It was pronounced Eh-Lee-Sah. That pronunciation was good until I started school, where everyone who saw my name pronounced it Eee-Lie-Zuh. My mom didnt like that so she changed the spelling to Elisa. Only about 30% of the people who meet me pronounce it correctly. Needless to say I never really had any attachment to my name and actually came to despise it.

Elisa did not feel like who I was. I started to cringe when someone called me by my name. And after I got sober, it really didnt feel like me. I going by just “E” and although that was better, it still didnt feel like me. I decided one day that I was going to change my first name. It was just a decision, I still didnt have the courage yet. I was worried about what people would think, what my mom would think, what my daughter would think. I was definotly worried about what my AA fellowship would think. As time went on and I continued to work my program and trust in myself, I realized I did have the courage and I was doing this for me and it didnt matter what anyone else thought. I was going to do it!

Why Betty? I’m not sure. I wanted something generic but that felt good, felt like me. Something simple that reflected my new lifestyle. Betty just came to me one day when I was listening to the song “Call me Al” by Paul Simon. And I liked it alot. A few weeks later I went to an event in Akron OH where when you check in you have to fill out a name tag, and I wrote Betty. It was a weekend event and everyone I met called me Betty and it just felt right. It felt like me.

So I am in the process of legally becoming Betty. I started using it in meetings and it feels good. I understand that it will take some time to transition fully, for other people and for myself but it feels freeing. like it is the final piece of letting go of who I was and I can continue my spiritual journey, my growth, my life with my new name.

This for me was about courage, letting go and growing.

Follow your hearts. Take that leap. Find your courage.

-Betty